It doesn’t matter if it lands in your inbox or letterbox.
A lot of B2B direct marketing starts in the same way.
Very f*cking badly.
And goes downhill from there.
Here are my top three serial offenders:
1. The Assumption Maker
Dear Andrew,
As a marketing consultant, you are no doubt aware of the huge cost savings to be made by insulating your office building with rubberised marshmellow. As you know, we’re the # 1 supplier of rubberised marshmellow in your area. I’d love to discuss in more detail how our solutions can help your marketing consultancy get to the next level. I’m free next Thursday at 05:30 CET. Let’s jump on a call!
2. The History Lesson
Dear Sirs,
Botchit & Scarper will soon be 125 ¾ years old. A lot has changed since our founders, Charles Botchit and Harry Scarper, started importing European toenail clippings for use in industrial scale fertilizer at the end of the 18th century. Today, as then, we remain committed to innovative disruption of the East Anglian agricultural ecosystem…
3. The New Logo / Website / Corporate Identity
Hey Andrew!
We’re SUPER EXCITED and UBER HAPPY to share this with you!!! We’ve redesigned our website to reflect a list of mind-numbingly meaningless values some numpty quoting Simon Sinek says we should have. Check it out! And don’t forget to tell us what you think! We’d love to hear your feedback!
Okay, so the examples may be a teeny-weeny bit contrived. 😉
But I bet they sound familiar, don’t they?
Here’s the thing:
People don’t give a toss about your business, brand, products, who you are, what you do, or why you do it.
The one thing they do care about though?
Themselves.
(That’s. It.)
The only question occupying their minds, and the one you need to answer, is this:
“What’s in it for me?”
So put the customer first in everything you say.
Show them how you’ll make life easier, better, more rewarding, or less risky for them.
And maybe, just maybe…
That next direct marketing campaign of yours…
Will get you one step closer to the sale.